Resident Of 15 Years Furious About Newcomers Ruining Hilton Head, Forgets He Was Once Newcomer Too

HILTON HEAD ISLAND, SC — Local resident Bill Hayward, who bought his home in 2010, has reportedly grown increasingly irritated with “the flood of newcomers” arriving on Hilton Head in recent years.

“Traffic’s worse, Publix is crowded, and these people don’t respect the island the way we do,” said Hayward, who first visited the island on a 2008 golf trip and decided to move two years later. “Back then it was authentic. Now it’s just outsiders everywhere you look.”

Neighbors noted Hayward often begins sentences with, “I’ve been here 15 years,” before launching into complaints about short-term rentals, pickleball noise, and “the wrong kind of people” buying into gated communities.

“Bill acts like he’s part of the original Gullah families,” said fellow resident Randy Peterson. “Meanwhile his house was built on what used to be a pine forest in 2009. He literally moved here after Target opened.”

At press time, Hayward was overheard telling friends that Hilton Head should “go back to how it was in 2015.”