Area High School Recruiting Guide Still Promoting That One Kid Who Went to Harvard in 2008, Now Runs Fishing Charter
HILTON HEAD ISLAND, SC — Parents reviewing a Hilton Head area High School’s latest recruiting guide confirmed Tuesday that the glossy brochure once again highlights “that one kid who went to Harvard in 2008,” proudly noting that he now operates a mid-tier fishing charter out of Broad Creek Marina.
Seventeen years after his acceptance letter, the guide still features a full-page photo of alum Michael Whitaker, with the caption: “Admitted to Harvard — proving our students can achieve anything.”
“Obviously we’ve had hundreds of graduates since then,” said guidance counselor Deborah Simmons. “But Harvard’s Harvard. And honestly, who wouldn’t want their kid to grow up, go to an Ivy, and then come home to take tourists out for redfish?”
Parents, however, expressed mixed feelings. “I’m not sure what the point is,” said local mom Rachel Carter. “My son wants to study engineering, but now I’m wondering if the endgame is also just a 28-foot Sea Hunt with Yelp reviews.”
Current students admitted the brochure is confusing. “They keep telling us to dream big,” said junior Alyssa Nguyen, “but the biggest dream they can point to is captaining a boat called The Crimson Tidepool.”
At press time, Whitaker’s charter was reportedly booked solid through the summer.
